kohzhihao; tanqianyi ♥

cabbed to dee's house.
went to have lunch with dee.
after lunch wanted to find ling but she was sleeping.
shopped around junction 8 with dee.
was extremely tired today.
don't know why as well.
so ended the shopping and went home.
dee wanted to accompany me but there isn't a need.

reached home and bathed shadow.
he ran into the mud puddle again.
mum gave me $50.
told me to save it.
ahhas.
yes.
so random right?
(:

going out for dinner later.
sher is coming along too!
smiles.
dad is planning something big.
ahhas.
what is it?
i have no idea.

love my family.
love my family.
love my family.
love my family.
love my family.

my evil side

quarelled with a bitch.
shall not blog about that.
now let's blog about something
happy.
went to town with dee yesterday.

happy.
happy.
happy.
happy.
happy.

cam-whored with dee and dee bought a pair of earrings for me.
heart-shaped.
(:
<3.
went to swensen.
reminds me of some memories.
but they shall be forgotten soon.
time.
that's all i need.

ordered tons of icecream.
demanded dee to feed me.
ahhas.
spoilt girlfriend.
but it was surprisingly sweeter when dee fed me.
(((:
don't believe me?
try it out with your partner.
and you'll understand.

ate some liquor chocs.
bitter and sweet after-taste.
yummy!
shopped around far east with dee.
saw a cute tube dress but it makes me look shorter.
wth.
it's alright.
dee says that i look cute in it.
hees.
(((:

took the mrt home with dee.
it was almost 11pm and i was dead beat.
dee accompanied me to amk first then took the other mrt back to bishan.
dee is so sweet luhs.
i simply love him.

love dee.
love dee.
love dee.
love dee.
love dee.

it's the kind of lovely feeling only i know.
ahhas.
dee&yee.
together forever.

my evil side

in case you noticed,
i added in your name again.
there's no denying that what we had was special.
so we will always be friends in our heart.
(:

met mandy at amk hub.
ate kfc together.
talked to mandy about her guy.
he treats her well.
i hope so too.
she will never regret what she did.
that i hope so too.
shopped around and began our crapping again.
it's been ages since i last crapped freely with mandy.
(:

cam-whored again.
it just never get boring.
mandy saw dee's photo and said,
'omg! he is damn cute luhs. never introduce me.'
ahhas.
i shall, mandy.
i shall.
(((:

so like now we are planning a GOD'EMs plus GFs gathering.
but our timing are so different.
it's gonna be difficult to go out together.
and weekends are packed too.
sms me with your timing luhs ks?
EVERYONE INVOLVED!

miss you guys.
miss you guys.
miss you guys.
miss you guys.
miss you guys.

i miss nel too.
nel bro,
i know that you are avoiding me.
just so you know,
i miss you terribly much.
i miss the late night cam-whoring moments.
(:

my evil side

kept laughing while video calling with dee.
it's been a long time since i laughed this real.
all this time,
i have been hiding my trueself.
afraid of people finding out the real me.
but dee changed it all.

[:
see that?
my true genuine smile.
every once in a while it will pop up.
with the right button pushed.
it will last me through life.

dee can always make me relax and smile.
i know i shouldn't be posting this but.

why can't you do that in the past?
you gave me smile yes.
but those were all superficial smiles and laughter.
i was living in fear.
of you being taken away from me and you abandoning me.
of you being carried high up by all the compliments.
of you thinking that you are too good for me.
but now,
all my fears came true.
but non of them lasted long.
and for that i am glad.

dee,
thank you so much!
i love you so much!
muacks!
[:

my evil side

dee went for badminton tournament today.
spent the whole day in school without him.
damn saddening.
jon went as well.
ling didn't come and andrew was sent home for hair.
i was all alone!

alone.
alone.
alone.
alone.
alone.

it sucks ks?
had lunch with selene and nanah.
that bitch pearlin ho was talking damn loudly.
wth luhs.
don't get me wrong.
i hate her not because of him.
as i am not holding on anymore.
i hate her because she's a
PLAIN BITCH!

get near her and you will know.
whatever.
eating my darling chocs now.
aww.
i miss shawn.
(:

my hunky piece of big choc!
and my bitchy sissy!
that's right.
where's sher?
it's been weeks since sher moved to aunt's place.
i miss bitching with her.
everyone is moving on.
so what am i doing still standing here?
waiting for a miracle to happen?
ahhas.

dee will take me places!
(((:
love him.

muacks dee.
muacks dee.
muacks dee.
muacks dee.
muacks dee.

waiting for dee's call now.
better call me fast or else!
(:<
<3 him.

my evil side

read through all my old posts.
emo feeling coming again.
my life used to be so perfect.
not that it's not perfect now.
but i just somehow feel that
it just isn't that perfect anymore.

i have no idea why.
my friends beside me are constantly changing.
then i suddenly remembered.
there was a period when i was truly depressed.
for a good 3months,
i dated guys and changed bf every 4days.
it seems so foolish now.
ahhas.
enlightment.

manda the panda..[HELLO! MANDA IS HUNGRY!] says:
I, MANDA THE PANDA SWEAR THAT I WILL ALWAYS LOVE STAC THE KITTY FOREVER AND EVER!WHENEVER SHE NEEDS ME, PANDA WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR KITTY!

remember that?
<3.

my evil side

i am going to blog everyday for dee's sake.
read dee's blog.
so sweet luhs.
i love you dee.
(:

cam-whored with dee during toilet break.
after school accompanied ling back home.
dee needed to stay back for his project.
wanted to wait for him but it will end late and ling was damn sick.
ling,
stay at home and rest luhs.
don't risk your health.
take care darling.

i hope my emo days are over.
except for emo-ing over secondary school days.
meeting mandy for lunch tomorrow after school.
ahhas.
mandy,
i miss you loads girl.

miss GFs&GOD'EMs.
miss GFs&GOD'EMs.
miss GFs&GOD'EMs.
miss GFs&GOD'EMs.
miss GFs&GOD'EMs.

yes.
not emo-ing.
(:

my evil side

met dee at junction 8 this morning.
waited for ling too.
she was still damn sick luhs.
ling,
get well ks?
then we go shopping!
(:

so like i held dee's hand in one and ling's in the other.
i have two bf.
ahhas.

love dee.
love dee.
love dee.
love dee.
love dee.

heart ling.
heart ling.
heart ling.
heart ling.
heart ling.

love is really sweet yeah?
yeah.
(((:
it's a whole new feeling.

dee&yee.
dee&yee.
dee&yee.
dee&yee.
dee&yee.

sounds sweet doesn't it?
hees.
<3.

my evil side

dee,
i will love you more than anything else ks?
muacks!
(:

chatted on the phone with dee.
im-ed manda and she was like so excited.
ahhas.
thanks eh manda.
you are my darling panda.
remember our
PANDA & KITTY?
must always keep it in your heart ks?
(((:

video called dee and he was playing maple.
ahhas.
dee,
in jc already luhs.
don't keep mapling ks?

saw ____ in school several times.
she changed.
i miss those times we had whenever we stayed back in school.
those cam-whoring days.
those bra-snapping moments.
those times of finishing each others sentences.
those intense shopping which will get gene on her nerves.
those crapping during chemistry about symbols.
those slapping moments during assembly.
i miss you guys much.
especially ____.
i miss the old you.

emo feeling again.
depressed.

my evil side

walked to school with dee today.
i just simply love the feeling of his hands.
(:
didn't realise that andrew and jon were behind us.
they almost scared the living daylights out of me.
omg.
so mean luhs.
but i still love them.

ling didn't come to school today.
she's sick.
aww.
get well soon darling.
dee went to his class and i was like so sad.
then andrew said,
'why? can't bear to seperate from him? ahlamak!'
ahhas.
i almost strangled him.

sms-ed with dee in class.
then had lunch together.
and he walked pass us.
dee knows what happened.
and when he walked pass,
he stared at us.
and his pearlin was behind him.
whatever luhs.
i just hope never to have anything to do with him anymore.

took photos with dee after lunch.
andrew and jon joined in too.
simply love them.
but ling was missing.
incomplete.

ling,
next time you must be here ks?
<3.

went to shop junction 8 with dee.
andrew said that
we looked like we have been together for years.
ahhas.
sweet right?

love dee.
love dee.
love dee.
love dee.
love dee.

dee went home with me.
and baded goodbye outside the doorstep.
(((:

my evil side

woots!
i love you,
koh zhi hao!

muacks.
muacks.
muacks.
muacks.
muacks.
(:

that's right.
i am in love all over again.
dee has been there for me whenever i needed him.
i truly love you, dee!
you pulled me out of this misery pit.
(((:

i am no longer entangled in depression.
i have already forgotten about him.
from now on,
it's my darling dee all the way!
and i am dee's yee.
I LOVE DEE!

love dee.
love dee.
love dee.
love dee.
love dee.

hees.
thanks ling, andrew and jon.
for being there for me too.
i love you guys loads.
(:

DEE and YEE.
THE STORY STARTS,
21.05.07, 2100.
IT'S a PUZZLE of LOVE.
WHERE WITHOUT EITHER ONE,
IT WILL NEVER BE COMPLETE!
<3.

my evil side

went off to vivo with ling and manda.
ling said that the black eye shadow and liner
makes me look like a murderer.
ahhas.
thanks!
(:

saw someone there.
nel with his girl.
and he pretended that he didn't see me.
his girl was looking at me and snubbing.
whatever luhs.
i won't let it affect my mood.

lazy to blog.
got that emo feeling again.
emo-ing time.

my evil side

back to normal?
hope so.
heard a fcuked up news last night.
mandy had sex with her guy.

wtfcuk.
wtfcuk.
wtfcuk.
wtfcuk.
wtfcuk.

mandy, how can you do that?
it concerns your life.
whatever.
it's all done and over now.
take responsibility.
and as for that guy.
i hope he does that too.

katherine mcphee's over it
is the perfect song for me.
and i am dedicating it to you.
i am so over,
so over it.
(:

my evil side

i am getting from bad to worse.
no really.
i am already at the worse stage.
and so i can't possibly be sinking in any deeper right?
whatever luhs.
i am sick.
damn sick.
):

what's the meaning of that huh?
trying to toy with my feelings again is it?
well then if making me
confused.
sick.
tired.
hate you.
love you.
miss you.
depressed.
& emo.
then congrats.
you have succeeded.
but it's no winning victory.

he gave andrew a letter and asked andrew to pass it to me.
i debated whether to read it or to chuck it.
but i read it anyway.
damn sick and depressed after reading it.
what's it suppose to mean?

you said those words because you need me back?
ahhas.
don't make me laugh.
you said those words because you really love me?
ahhas.
yeah right.
you said those words because you don't want to lose me?
ahhas.
no way boy.
now let me tell you why.
you said those words because you are desperate
to let people think that i am the one whom need you.
you said those words because you are trying to save face.
you said those words because you are trying to let others think that
you are so damn kind hearted.
well you are NOT!
but why?
why is it that i just can't forget you?
why is it that you always appear in my mind?
why is it that i still feel something at your words?
why?
no definite answer.
i still ~~love~~ you.
that's why.

my evil side

everything is falling apart.
my life, friends, relationship and my mind.
___ is out of my life.
she is no longer my friend.
and nel didn't contact me for 2weeks now.
he didn't even reply my sms-es.
even when i call him,
his girlfriend answers his phone.
wtfcuk.

whatever.
whatever.
whatever.
whatever.
whatever.

nel is regarding his girlfriend to be more important than me.
and you know what?
it's alright.
he has never been in such a serious relationship before
and so if he blows it because of me then i will feel damn fcuked up.
so nel, if you are reading this,
take care bro. cause i guess we will never meet again.

i am emo ok?
just trying to create the emo feeling here.
cried for a good 2hours earlier on.
tears are rolling down uncontrollably.
even now.

emo.
emo.
emo.
emo.
emo.

i just love being emo.
ahhas.
sick me.
emo me.
bitchy me.
and yet,
lovely me.
(:

locked myself in my room after school.
didn't call anyone nor did i answer their calls.
i am just doing some emo-ing luhs.
can?
stop disturbing me.
emo-ing in progress.

my evil side

he is nothing to me anymore.
that's what i said to myself.
but why do i feel so empty without him at night?
my mind will inevitably go to him whenever i am thinking.
and trust me,
i think alot.
):

oh and some breaking news.
he already has a new girlfriend.
it's not unbelievable.
with a flirt like him,
ahhas.
too easy.
just surprised that it took him 3 months to decide on who.

i cried earlier on and am crying now.
i feel so desperate luhs.
like i have already gone mad over him.
i said to forget him and make him disappear.
but why is it that i just can't seem to do that.
he is in my thoughts.

in and out.
in and out.
in and out.
in and out.
in and out.

when he talked to me at lunch today,
his girl was looking at me in a weird way.
it's as though she wanted to eat me up.
plain slut yeah?
yeah.
she too just broke up and is rushing into a relationship again.

bitch, slut.
bitch, slut.
bitch, slut.
bitch, slut.
bitch, slut.

yes.
i am talking about you,
pearlin ho.
you can say that i am jealous by all means.
you can say that i am a bitch by all means.
but at the end of the day,
you will get hurt yourself.
i will still have my life, friends and enemies like you.
(:

while you will be left with nothing.
except maybe a plain flirt by your side.
which bytheway, is going to leave you too.
but of course, no harm done to you right?
since you too are a plain slut.
perfect match made in heaven.
((:

i don't know why we eventually ended up in this state too.
we used to be so together.
but now?
i just hate you to the core.
extreme hatred.

you once gave me everything i could ask for.
gave me love.
gave me happiness.
gave me security.
gave me a real smile.
but now,
you are giving me everything that i do not need.
giving me hate.
giving me coldness.
giving me sadness.
giving me a fake smile.
can you please tell me why we ended up like this?
can you revert back to the good ol' you?
can you come back and be the same you when we first met?
can you just give me the answer which i so do not want to hear.
if only you can,
then everything will be different now.
if only you can.

my evil side

i can't live without you.
is that it?
is that true?
is that how you feel too?

well time for some information.
i can live just fine without you.
i can still have fun without you.
i can still find myself without you.
so you got that?

i can live just fine even without you.

had lunch alone today.
don't ask me why.
just felt like it ok.
then he saw me and walked towards me.
so he was like trying to talk to me but he went off instead.
after buying his food and all,
he came and sat beside me.
wth.

i didn't say that he can do that.
but i didn't say anything at all.
so he was humming and er-ing all the time.
and he finally spoke.
asked me
'why are you alone? where's your friends?'
and i was like so pissed off.

pissed.
pissed.
pissed.
pissed.
pissed.

he act as if nothing happened.
whatever luhs.
in my opinion,
you suck.
get out of my life and mind.
(((:

so the next thing he said was,
'after school wait for you at the gate ok? go home together.'
i effing swear that i wanted to splash water at him.
but managed to maintain my cool.
said nothing and then just stood up and walked away.
he is nothing to me anymore.

sian.
sian.
sian.
sian.
sian.

my evil side

met up with manda earlier on.
happy.
and manda's first reaction was,
'omg. wtfcuking hell happened to you?'
my dresscode totally changed.
for the better?
ahhas. (:

shopped with manda around town.
bought clothes!
mini skirts.
hees.
i totally ~~heart my panda.~~

manda was surprised about ____ too.
manda, don't think that it won't happen.
it happened once so it will happen again.
we were wrong about her. (:
naive.
naive.
naive.
naive.
naive.

tsk.
tsk.
tsk.
tsk.
tsk.

my evil side

<3s today.
had fun with ling and andrew.
we drew a circle and ling called it 'squcle'.
whatever.
fun.
fun.
fun.
fun.
fun.

angel is my new baobei.
she's my angel.
((:
damn stressful.
andrew, i need your remedy.
whatever.
whatever.
whatever.
whatever.
whatever.

let me make an announcement.
stacy tan qian yi is changing herself.
from head to toe.
from inner to outer.
see the new me soon.
sweet.
sweet.
sweet.
sweet.
sweet.

my evil side

ling, you sure of that?

andrew, i love you too!

jon, you rock honeybro. (:

my evil side

life is super hectic. it has been months since i last posted. so like i am thinking of closing down this blog. what's the point in keeping a blog now that everything has changed. and manda, i still love you ks? many happened. i never knew that she could be such a slut and such a hurtful backstabber. ____, i was wrong about you. i thought that you were my bestest friend in the whole world next to manda. my left hand. but you were just a bitch in a fairy's clothing. when i heard those rumours about what you said, i didn't believe it at first but when i heard you saying those stuffs personally, it broke my heart. life is turning around.

this blog will be officially dead from now on. i still welcome you here. but i will post depending on my mood. <3 you once.

my evil side