kohzhihao; tanqianyi ♥

i know times are getting hard.
but not for us ks?
we rock!
((((((:

you probably don't get me.
and i don't expect you to too.
alright now.
a short update.
off to meet up with dee for some shopping.
<3

my evil side

i love my dee.
camwhored with him.
he bought a new dress for me.
the one i have been eyeing for ages!
$128 from forever 21.
read teenage and you will know.
like omg luhs.
it totally fits me!
(((((((:

took neos.
it's been a long time.
<3

my evil side

promos are over and results are out!
damn idiotic.
i got promoted.
well,
expected.
((((((:
but some in our class got detained.
like wtfcuk.
and they are those that i thought will confirm get promoted.

kerline from another class was actually laughing at those getting detained.
omg.
she sucks big time.
and her results too.
it's like mine is so so so much better than hers.
heh.
stacytan,
you are so proud.
:D

and dee.
his result was so super uber good luhs.
envy.
so after school today,
decided to go chill at orchard.
went to do my nails.
ahhah.
nice nails.
they make me shimmer.
while ling and i were getting our nails done,
the guys went for a shopping spree.
erhem.
whoever said guys can't shop is so totally wrong.
they actually came back with big bags of clothes.
*faints*

bought fake nails for fun.
was crapping with ling as to whether fake nails can be use to dig...
yeah.
camwhored in the lift,
as usual.
bought popcorn from gv for fun.
ahhah.
was actually planning on catching a movie but we were all broke.
got a little mushy with dee in the mrt.
so damn effing crowded can.
hugged him so tight he can hardly breathe.
and guess ling and andrew was tsking us.

listening to some song right now.
feel so si bei boring.
learned that from nel.
(:

my evil side

what i hate more than being nice is...
being mean to everyone nice around me.
i mean,
sometimes i get annoyed and lash it out at manda.
but she has been supportive and am quite happy being my sandbag.
then there's nel bro.
he gets me angsty when he is giving me surprises and yet i can sometimes get carried away and be too excited to care about his surprise too.
and there's my clique.
i get really annoyed and pms affects me.
they are always my recorder.
if only they can record down my complains,
i am sure they will drown me to death with it one day.
but there's my parents too.
i will throw tantrums and shout at them for being unreasonable at times.
but i know,
they care.
and don't get me started on my siblings.
they are just about the greatest.
and yet,
sometimes i deappreciate them.
if my life was without them,
where would i be now?

this makes me want to love them more.
<3

my evil side

shakina's house was so damn fun!
i wore my new dress and shoe.
but forgo the headband idea.
(:
saw shannon again.
been ages.
took some photos with her.
before you ask anything,
yeah.
she's a butch.
but hey,
who cares?

left at 9.30pm.
went off to clarke quay with manda,
mandy and nic.
ate some pasta and enjoyed the scenery.
camwhored.
some guys tried to tackle manda and nic when mandy and i were camwhoring.
they look so...
interesting.
ahhah!
stacytan,
stop being so mean luhs.

so we basically spent 4hours sitting down and talking.
caught up on so much more.
mandy actually turned to smoking.
was stunned when she took out a cigar.
manda was so angry that she took the cigar and threw it into the river.
omg.
stupid girl.
stupid mandy.
please luhs.
it won't ever solve your problem.
so don't you ever smoke again.

dee called me.
he said that he wanted to fetch me home.
but i rejected him.
it's 3am and by the time he gets there,
it will be so damn late.
so we shared a cab home.
i love my girlfriends.
they rock.
((((((:

my evil side

school was alright.
test again.
and more modules.
went to bugis with nic and mandy after school.
nic wore her uniform trendy.
with a headband.
she looks so geeky yet cool.

read up on mandy's accountancy book.
am baffled.
ahhah.
i am better off with law.
(:
ate at pepper lunch.
camwhored in the toilet.
fav. spot!
took total lesb looking pictures with nic.
she looks so chic.
envies.

shopped and i bought a dress.
yes i know.
dresses makes me look shorter.
but i like it that way.
hehh.
:D
i need dresses!
i have so many jeans,
skirts,
tops,
tubes,
shorts and straps.
but just a few dresses.
how can that be?
a good wardrobe will have have EVERYTHING!
and i am 3/4 there.
(((((((:

bought a new shoe too.
wanted to buy heels but my blister is still there.
and i need to wear the shoe tomorrow night.
so forget it.
oh.
did i mention that i am going over to shakina's place for HARI RAYA tomorrow.
the whole bunch of our gang are going.
ahhah.
prepare food shakina!
(((:
going to ton tomorrow night.
don't care if it's a schoolnight.
been ages since i last went out with my gang.
my lovely clique.

we gonna partaye till late night!
woohoo!
:DDD

and probably wearing my new dress and shoe.
am thinking of wearing a headband too.
ok.
now i am scaring myself.
we shall see first.
(:

my evil side

enjoyed dinner.
(((((:
been feeling super happy the whole night.
but i feel like...
he's the one that is trying so very hard to make me happy.
for fear that i might be angry?
ahhah.
can feel his sincerity.
but it's like he is over-doing it.

he ordered loads of icecream and food.
took some pictures with him.
i suddenly feel so...
glad?
have no idea why.
shopped and he bought a wrist-watch for me.
said to tie me down with him.
LOL

meeting him for school tomorrow.
it's been so long since we last walked to school together.
been talking to jing recently too.
my life is turning around again?
don't bet on it.

2.30am now.
not exactly sleepy.
studying modules.

my evil side

halloooooo people!
ok.
lame.

so i have posted up the picture of my first kiss with dee.
it's not here dummy!
on friendster.

went out with ling and andrew earlier on.
wanted to catch a movie at vivo
but so early?
guess not.
camwhored in the toilet with ling and forced andrew to sneak in.
ahhah.
he was so scared that the 'sex police' will come and take him away for being bisexual.
yeah right.

tried on gowns with ling in the fitting room and camwhored again.
ling said one sentence that was so cool.
'we look fo-shiza hot!'
LOL
and andrew tried on a suit which makes him look like an ah pek.
those horny ones.
ahhahahahh.
so we took pictures and made ourselves look like we were going for the red-carpet.

lastly to top it all off,
lunch at pasta mania.
been ages since i lunched there.
and there's these 2 guys from another table,
kept looking at ling and me.
so stupid andrew decided to walk off for a moment and see what happens.
true enough,
the 2 guys walked over and 1 of them asked ling for her number and the other asked me.
i can effing swear that the guy whom asked me looks so much like shawn!
except shawn is much more handsome.
(((:
so feeling kind of happy because of the good day,
i gave him my number and ling gave her number as well.
but i don't think i am going to reply if any one of them sms-es me.

andrew came back and they walked off.
we were laughing our heads off.
and yeah.
friends are still the best.
:D

having swensen later.
omg.
going to be fat again.
must lose weight!

my evil side

today can be said the happy day and the most contradicting day.
let's start off with happy first.
shall we?

Happy
i got back with zhihao.
if you call that a happy event.
yes.
he came and find me.
we had a talk and i stupidly believed him again.
let's just see what comes from this.
(:
in the mean while,
treasure me boy.

Contradicting
i may have forgiven him
but my heart is feeling sourish.
something tells me that we can NEVER
return back to the sweet image we once were.
even if we do,
it will only be 99% perfect.
because that 1% was lost back then.

still,
i admit that i just can't live without him.
why am i so weak yet so strong?

he says that he is taking me out for swensen tonight.
time to see if we can try to be as loving again.
(((((:

my evil side

it's twirling.
my exams.
my promos.
ok.
basically,
my papers.
(((((:

don't get me?
don't worry.
me neither.

been facing some problems with my health.
coughing and flu.
feverish and pain.
oh god.
how to continue on with my studies?
and him.
he isn't doing much to help me either.
only giving me more weight to pull me down.

thinking of going MOS tonight.
but manda is not free.
she has got some project to finish off.
and my God'ems aren't free too.
plus my peeps are all seemingly busy these few weeks!
omg.
major breakdown.
social outbreak.
wtfcuk.

and so my last resort will be to ask...
...
...
...
...
...
...
SHADOW!
to go with me.
ahhahahah.
don't be stupid luhs,
stacytan.
like as if shadow enjoys going there.

but don't worry.
nothing is ever too late till 7pm tonight.
be it if i have to pay to get in.
who cares?
not him.

ok.
so i have been surpressing myself for long enough now.
and it's time to let it all out.
stacytan,
you can do it.
right?

i have been forcing myself to forget this.
this short 3 months together.
i have been trying very hard to forget the relationship.
it's short but it's sweet too.
went to read all of the past posts and my tears fell.
oh for god sake.
stacytan,
can you don't be so strong and lighten up a bit?
can't you just admit that you still have feelings for him?
it has only been 3 weeks.
how can you forget someone in a short 3 weeks?
stacytan,
stop being such a stuck up snob and come back down to earth will you?
stop betraying your heart and face up to the facts.
you still love him and you know it.

yes.
and i still know it.
but...
it's just so hard to do so.
what do you want me to do?
go up to him and say,
'hey, get back together with me ok?'
lowdown.
and yes.
i am stuck up.
but that's who i basically am.
that's stacytan.

get this.

hmmm..ii brokee up wiith hiim le...why nehh? becausee he neber giive miie ennoughh tiime to spendd wiith miie dee...maybiie breakk liiao wiill hapiier? nn thatt stacytan wonnt comee nn fiind miie aniimoree? hmmm..toopiid leonard..saee wantt call miie tiill now stiill habenn call...ii cantt waiit to go outt wiith hiim lahh...at least he stiill giives miie tiime nn companiie..nortt liike that guy..neber giive miie companiie de...leonard saee, 'breakk liiao good..dontt need someeone liike hiim de..'..erhhh, what iit means lehh? ii also dontt know...guess ii am spendiing tiime wiith leonard now..he treatts miie very good lohh..always buyy miie thiings nn foodss..makee miie fat only...but he saee fat liiao he also want miie...wakakaka..he toopiid lahh...nn to hiim horr, pleasee dontt comee fiind miie le lahh..ii dontt feel aniiting fer euu le..nn stopp calliing miie le...should learnn to giive up bahh..miian qiiang iis meii youu xiin fu de..so happiie now...lata goiing outt wiith leonard nn eatiing steamboatt..leonard treatt miie lehh..hmmm...haoo xiin fu aww..(:

omg.
she totally sucks luh.
what kind of a girl is she?
and i thought that she is a gentle,
kind and nice girl.
who would have thought that she was such a...
SLUT!
yes.
slut.
going out with some other guys so soon?
yes.
say i am whatever you want.
because i admit,
i am helping him out.
there's no hiding for that.

my evil side

been studying real hard nowadays.
class bbq was a success!
though not everyone turned up.
but it was fun and we turned manda's place upside down.
LOL

went blog hopping earlier on.
read his blog.
found out something major.

i am so heartbroken. turns out that jiamin was lying to me all this time. she wasn't true to me at all. all she wanted was for me to buy her stuffs and when i couldn't go out with her, she will throw tantrums and demand that i go meet her now. i have spent a total of $1000 plus on her for these few days. buying her adidas bag, jacket, hats, heels, shirts, dresses and many more. she is superficial and i should have known that. and when i told her that i can no longer buy her so many stuffs as mom is cutting my allowance, she immediately flared up and wanted a break. i was so confused. i thought she truly loved me and was a nice, demure girl. turns out that she was otherwise. it has been 3 days and i have not contacted her. till now, my heart still hurts. i finally understand how stacy felt. she must have felt so hurt when i left her. she loved me so much and yet i went and hurt her so deeply. and this is just like what jiamin is doing to me. i totally don't know. that maybe i still have feelings for stacy? but....what will she say if i want to get back with her? i know stacy and she's not an easy girl. i know that i have no rights to speak to her anymore because i was the one whom let her go and now i regret it. it's too late for any regrets now. when i see her going off with her friends like nel, alan or some others, i will feel sourish. and that kaleb, he is still winning her heart. if he can't even do that, what makes me, the guy whom once hurted her, to be able to win her back? besides, it isn't over between me and jiamin yet. i don't know. it is just not officially over yet. stacy, i know that you will read this, so please give me some answer or help ok?

ahhah.
kohzhihao,
even you know that i am not an easy girl to handle.
i told you that you will regret it.
and now you are.
but it's too late boy.
really too late.

i have no answer for you.
you reap what you sow.
so face the fact and go on with your life.
i have gotten over you.
though not completely but almost there.
and so don't come here now and ruin everything for me.
you should have known better than to do what you did.

i actually felt happy and elated when i read your post.
i must be fucking psycho.
but yeah.
((((((:

ok.
so i am quite mean to him.
fine.
cut you some slack.

if you ever need someone to talk to,
or to lend you a listening ear,
you can always come find me...
when i am like a hundred years old and can't hear anything.
ahhahahahah!

but stacytanqianyi,
admit it.
you were feeling kind of...
emotional when you read his post.
perhaps you are just too strong to say it out.

fuck you.

my evil side