kohzhihao; tanqianyi ♥

my life is so damn fcuked up.
yes.
you read it correctly.
i am sick and tired of this fcuked up life of mine.
))))):<

had a fight with ling.
i wasn't paying much attention in class
and when ling tried to talk me out of it,
i shouted at her.
and she scolded me for being
like as if
i am the only one in the whole world
who has problems.

i can't take it anymore.
didn't talk to zhihao for such a long time.
i miss him.
i miss how he will always say
yee,
must sleep early ok?
and dream of me.
haha
and how he will always send me
cute sms-es.

but what's the use?
sometimes somethings are better left unsaid.
his mum is strongly against us.
for what?
she's such a.....
strong-willed mother.
omg.
i am losing it luhs.

met jon after work last night.
had a good chat
and forced him to camwhore.
plus vaining myself too.
he said that the girl he likes
already has a bf?
life is always making fun of you.
be strong jon!
(:

my evil side

BIRTHDAY TRUTHS TO SHERLIN!
<3 you BITCH! :D

this year sher's birthday is different.
no party!
uh huh.
NO PARTY!
just a small gathering.
matured?
ahhas.
((((:

my evil side

i am drained of my feelings.
how uncertain.
whatever luhs.
had lunch with shawn.
kind of cheered me up.
he tried to reason with me.
about the relationship.
he said

you and zhihao belong in different worlds.
he belongs in the world of order,
where he will eventually become someone reputable.
and you belong in the world of freedom,
where all you ever want is freedom
and not being tied down by rules and order.
so zhihao will always listen to his parents no matter what.
afterall, he is their son and you are only a passer-by.

thought about it seriously.
and realised that shawn is right.
i can't keep holding on to him.
he really is their son,
and i am just his girl,
not his wife.
so who am i to hold on to him forever?
i get it this time.
perhaps i should really start learning how to
let go.

my eyes are puffy.
but i am not crying.
it's due to lack of sleep.
i miss him.
and feel like calling him.
but then,
how can i ever learn how to let go?

zhihao,
do me favour and call me ks?
and give me your answer after reading what shawn said.
please just give me a HONEST answer.
as to whether we should continue or not.
don't lie to me just to make me happy.
because iloveyou,
so i really want you to be happy as well.
<3

my evil side

got a call earlier on.
he broke the silence first.
but i hestitated as to whether to pick up.
in the end,
when he called the second time,
i picked up.

we spoke.
uncomfortably.
he said that he is confused too,
as to what to do.
so when i asked him,
do you still love me?
he said
YES!
but then,
why is he so uncertain as to what to do?

it's alright.
since you broke the silence pact,
then i will give you 3 days to give me an answer ks?
as to what you want to do.
<3

my evil side

nel fetched me to work today.
using his bike!
like omg!
it was so fun luhs.
and nel even told kaleb to stop coming.
he came again today.
like please luh,
stop coming here ks?
it is emotionally tired for both you and me.
(:

after that,
nel walked to the shop with me.
and kellie and joyce were like
woah. your beau?
ahhas.
no luhs.
but my darling bro!
thanks nel!
(((((:

after work,
went to buy some tidbits for shadow baby.
and then when i walked out of the mall,
i saw nel bro again!
omfcuk.
he was waiting for me luhs.
ahhas.
he wanted to ask me to go chiong with him.
but i wanted to go home and spend time with shadow.
so he understood my heart to be
The 24hours,
Loving Mummy to shadow,
he sent me home.
thanks!

fed shadow his tidbits and then played with him
for a whole 30minutes.
can see that he is super duper happy.
which makes me happy too.
(:
he really brightens up my day.
i <3 shadow baby!

mummy loves you loads!

my evil side

i have made up my mind to
LOSE WEIGHT!
yes.
that's it.
that's the only thing that can get my mind off stuffs.
going to lose a total of 4kg!
meaning i am going to weigh...
42kg!
ah yes!
be the skinny skinny me.
(:

work has been harder.
been getting harder and harder to face kaleb.
hard to cope with school work as well.
plus my relationship.
argh.
don't wish to talk about it.
perhaps......
i should take a break.
let this week to come be a cooling period for us.

so,
dee,
or should i say,
zhihao,
when you read this,
let's start from here ks?
for a whole week.
let's not sms,
call,
see,
talk or blog about eachother.
only until we have completely cleared our mind.
<3

my evil side

shadow is alright.
he just needed some proper rest.
and how happy am i?
so so so happy.
(((((:

but somehow,
there's something else i should be unhappy about.
it's dee.
i just somehow feel that
he's avoiding me.
i just hope that i am thinking too much.

but why is it that whenever i call him,
he won't talk much to me.
and he will always be the one to first initiate to end the call,
with an excuse like,
i am busy now, call you back later.
i need to go do something, call you later.
and some others.
i feel weird.
is it because of ...?
oh god.
help me please.
my life is full of uncertainties.

it's making me miserable.

my evil side

went out earlier on to meet lav.
chatted for like 15minutes?
then she needed to go off.
went home and saw shadow acting weird.
when i call him,
he doesn't answer me.
he just lies there on the floor,
staring at me and breathing so fast.
i am really lost.
didn't know what to do.

called dee,
crying.
seeing shadow like this really breaks my heart.
called mum and dad.
they said that they will call the vet.
the vet came and took shadow back with him.
thoughts invaded my mind.
what if i lose shadow?
what if shadow leaves me?
my eyes are wet now luhs.

alan called me and chatted with him.
while chatting,
i cried again.
and he was like,
'eh, don't cry don't cry!'
but i really can't help it.
my life is turning again.
turning for the worse.
if shadow really leaves me,
i WILL have depression.

just called mum
and mum said that shadow needs to be at the vet's
for a week or so.
it may be something that he ate.
and then it hit me.
it's all my fault.
because of my studies,
i have been neglecting shadow.
and now?
all i can do is cry.
i miss shadow.

my shadow baby.
mummy is sorry for not taking good care of you.
please do not leave me alone.
no matter what,
you can't leave me just like that.
i promise that from now on,
i will devote 1/2 of my time to you.

all i can do now is pray.

my evil side

it's a workless day today.
kaleb came after school again.
this time,
i walked out of the side gate.
but sms-ed him to tell him to go back.
it's been real hard for me too.
i mean,
i really don't wish to lose a good friend.
and kaleb is a really good pal to me.
but this may somehow or rather,
strain our friendship.
i just know it.

pissed off to blog any further.
nothing to blog about either.
meeting lav later for catching up.
that's the only thing i look forward to now?
ahhas.

my evil side

been confused and emotionally drained.
why must things like this keep happening to me?
went to work on monday after school.
things were fine at first,
but things got kind of blurry after that.
worked with kellie and joyce.
kaleb and shafiq were in another dept.
and during lunch,
kaleb bought some food for us.
and then he said that he needed to talk to me.

so went to have a talk
and something scary happened.
he confessed his feelings for me.
like wtfcuk luhs.
so i frankly told him that it's impossible.
but he said that he won't give up.

kaleb: stacy, i need to talk to you.
me: oh ok.
kaleb: erh, i...i don't wish to scare you away but...
me: eh, you ok?
kaleb: yeah. ok, i love you!
me: *shocked* wtfuck?!
kaleb: i know that it's hard to believe but...
me: wait! do you even know what you are talking about?
kaleb: yes i do. i really do.
me: ok. know what? it's impossible between us.
i am attached and will never fall for you. sorry.
kaleb: and you know what? i will never give up.
even if you don't accept me, just let me care for you.

it's really shocking luhs.
i mean,
kaleb likes me?
ahhas.
the world is changing.
and the worse part is that
HE WAITED FOR ME AFTER SCHOOL YESTERDAY AND TODAY!
wth.
dee witnessed it all but he kept quiet.
i am also lost for words.
especially when kaleb said,
'from now on,
i am going to fetch you to work everyday.'
and i just can't find the heart to reject him.
so went off with him.

kaleb is handsome.
but he is just not the guy for me.
some people are better off as friends.
and this happens to kaleb and me.
shared with alan.
alan was shocked too.
called dee after that.
dee was kind of pissed off luhs.
but dee,
trust me ok?
iloveyou.
<3
(((((:

my evil side

today is a super duper happy day.
(:
didn't work today.
went out with dee.
watched harry potter at vivo.
then went to view scenery.
camwhored and guess what?
i was so in the mood that i hugged dee tight.

he almost choked.
ahhas.
love him.
and dee did something so sweet luhs.
he kissed me.
and we kissed for like 10minutes?
LOL
it's sweet luhs.
simply love dee loads.
(((((:

my evil side

had a great time luhs.
met up with manda and lav.
hugged lav for like a long time.
LOL
my boney lav.
(:

camwhored together.
shopped around and then went off to find the rest.
brought lav along to ling's party.
partied till 11pm or so.
then went off with manda,
lav,
dee,
andrew and jon.
andrew said something.

eh,
your friend is from australia?
wow.
so HOT uh.

ahhas.
cheeky andrew luh.
lav and manda went home first.
andrew and jon went off to some place for
being emo?
so dee and i went to take a walk.
chatted with dee.
chatted about lots of stuffs.
took a cab home.

it's lovely.
4am now.
shadow just woke up.

my evil side

working till 4pm.
then it's off to find manda and lav.
omg.
can't wait.
i miss my 2 hunny bunny gf!
and going to ling's party after that.
meeting up with dee,
andrew,
jon,
selene,
nanah and hafiz.
maybe bringing lav and manda there too?
introduce lav to dee.
ahhas.
(:

know what?
SHAWN DID BREAKFAST TODAY!
like wtfcuk luhs.
mum said that shawn woke up extra early.
and the breakfast tasted nice.
LOL

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LING!
<3

my evil side

had a chemistry test today.
kind of forgotten about it.
hope i do fine.
ling brought a whole packet of potato chips to class.
ate and shared among everyone.
played games with nanah,
kim,
hafiz,
jon,
wei ming,
shakilah and selene.

enjoyed lunch with shawn.
i was trying to eat less but,
he shoved everything into my mouth.
LOL
mean luhs.
but he blan ja me to 3 cups of ice milo
and curry rice.
so for that,
he's good!
(:

ate loads with him.
damn full after that.
camwhored around again.
shawn sent me to work after school.
not exactly he escorted me.
he hailed a taxi for me and gave me $50.
ahhas.
the remaining change is mine.
(:
seriously,
i love shawn!

worked with rain,
kai sheng and shafiq.
finally had quite a big talk with kai sheng.
he's from amk ite.
same age as me.
his birthdate is same as gene.
that's all?
LOL
take things slowly.
get to know him first then ask more.
(:

speaking of gene.
WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?
didn't call me or contact me anymore.
miss you like hell luhs.
better call me or else.
ahhas.
i miss my old life.
i miss the secondary days.
i miss them!

i miss the old me

blog more later?

my evil side

work was ok for yesterday and today.
had lunch with dee today.
he seems to have lost weight too.
so i fattened him up.
LOL

played finger guessing game with jon in class.
know what?
andrew likes someone.
ahhas.
yes he does.
sherilyn from another class.
she's pretty.
and i mean damn pretty luhs.
but,
andrew is being a coward?
he doesn't even dare to go talk to her.
wth.
he needs my help eh?
ahhas.

he appeared after school.
walked off with dee to the mrt station.
he followed us.
took the mrt while dee went home.
he stood behind me.
alighted at orchard.
he followed through.
walked to the toilet.
he waited outside.
went to work place.
he followed too.
alan asked him if he needed something,
he only just stared at me.
i took a glance at him and walked to him.
asked him very politely,

how may i help you, sir?

he stared at my eyes.
he pulled my hand out and handed me something.
i stared at it and he walked off.
without saying anything at all.
alan and kaleb asked me what's wrong.
all i did was smile.
opened the box that he handed me.
it contained a ring.
a ring with the words,

Daryl <3 Stacy.
01.11.06

i stared blankly at it.
feelings twirled.
but,
i put it back into the box.
worked till 8pm with alan.
became emo with him.
turns out,
he can't let go of a particular relationship.
it's been almost a year now.
a 4 years relationship ruined because of some misunderstanding.
drank a little.
tried not to be drunk.
or else shawn will kill me.

scaled the streets of orchard.
took the mrt home.
took out the box.
left it in a corner.
alan called me.
chatted with him.
became emo again.
he said that i am quite lucky.
that dee loves me so much.
and that he is willing to change for me.
but,
i feel that i am not lucky for him.

he feels like a prisoner and i am the jail.
but the cell door is forever open.
there's no way that he can get out of here,
unless he stands up and walk out willingly.
and i really hope he does.

so shawn came back to school.
dee gets along with him.
shawn does still talk to him.
but i think that shawn tries to avoid the subject,
me,
whenever they are talking.
finding shawn for lunch tomorrow.
have to make appointment somemore.
wtfcuk.
need appointment to have lunch with my OWN BROTHER!
he's popular!
a little too popular luhs.
ahhas.
but i am honoured to have him as my brother.
(:

sher can be in this school too.
but she chose her poly life instead of a jc life.
she prefers poly more to jc.
and now she's damn busy too.
don't really get to see her.
must make a date to have lunch together.
3 of us.
(((((:

my evil side

a hearty BIG thanks to those whom helped me,
to get through my darkest period!
hearts!

MANDA: for being my rubbish bin and listening to my whining all day long. (:

NEL: for lending me your shoulder when i really need it. (:

SHER: for bitching with me that day. eventhough you are really busy. (:

SHAWN: for showing me that you are there for me eventhough you don't always say it. (:

LING: for being my bestest girlfriend in class and my life. (:

ANDREW: for taking down notes for me and cheering me up. (:

JON: for that heartfelt talk we had. (:

ALAN: for always asking me to take things easy and the emo night. (:

KALEB: for taking your time to talk to me. (:

JOYCE: for your little kind acts. (:

thanks everyone!
even those whom i didn't mention.
thanks loads.
(:

my evil side

dee called me on the night of saturday.
was with ling and jon then.
but left them there and rushed over to find him.
he said that he felt unwell and very abnormal.
cabbed to his house.
called dee and but he didn't answer.
someone pulled me from behind and took me to the park.
it was dee.

he looked perfectly fine.
so i asked him,
'i thought that you are not feeling well?
wtfcuk.
is this some kind of a joke?'
and dee hugged me.
i felt warmth and happiness,
BUT with a tinge of sorrow.
without saying anything,
i cried.
it's been too long since i last hugged him.
since i last felt his embrace.
since i last felt his presence.

dee spoke.

'yee,
i have decided.
that i want to be with you.
no matter what my mum says,
she can never stop me from loving you.
iloveyou.'

omfcukingod.
so i basically spent the night thinking about dee's words.
he had an arguement with his mum over this.
but i know that dee will stand by me no matter what.
and i will stand by him too.
(:
<3

didn't see dee in school yesterday as well.
he has been real busy.
badminton practices and tournament.
plus his X.D.A club.
LOL
said sorry to ling and jon.
ahhas.
sorry guys!
had lunch.
ate extremely much.
rushed to work after.
back to normal?
guess so too.
joyce and kellie were on duty.
the NICE ONES!
((:

and today?
basically the same.
not working today.
a classified,
'me day' for me.
yeah.
whatever it means.
got an unexpected call from someone earlier on.
LAV!
like omg right?
OMG!
she's back from australia.
keep on postponing her flight.

i so effing miss her can!
meeting up this saturday after work.
so heart her!
a close meeting of lav, manda and me.
cheers!
(((((:

know what?
life just keeps getting better each day.
i love dee!
i love lav!
i love manda!
i love myself!

my evil side

taking the 10am to 2pm shift.
yeah.
call it whatever you want.
am sick of working.
ling and jon are coming to find me after work.
miss them so.
(:

hunger pangs.
know what?
i weigh 45kg now.
like omfcuk.
lost a total of 2kg in the past 4 days.

my evil side

sick and tired.
my head hurts.
but can it be compared to the ache in my heart?
whatever.

went to school late.
didn't really pay any attention in class.
kept looking around to find him.
but,
just didn't see him.

took my time to get to work.
my shift is at 4pm right?
well,
i reached at 6pm.
yeah well w.h.a.t.e.v.e.r luhs.
tried my very best to keep my cool attitude.
overall was quite ok.
didn't maintain any eye contact with jesslyn.
rain was trying to get something out of me
but i just don't feel like talking.

knocked off at 8pm.
didn't feel like staying there.
alan and kaleb were both trying to make me stay
but sorry guys.
took a walk around orchard.
went to withdraw 50dollars and went to shop.
bought a halter neck top.
along with a plaided mini skirt.
bought a pair of new black heels with the money shawn gave me.
bought earrings,
nail polish,
eyeliner,
mascara,
eyeshadow,
lipgloss and necklace.
spent a total of nearing 100dollars.
all in the name of black.
(:
emo goth.

took the mrt home around 10pm.
met alan, kaleb and kai sheng at the mrt station.
kai sheng doesn't really speak much luhs.
kai sheng and kaleb went home first.
went to dhoby ghaut with alan.

he bought some liquor from his friend working in 7/11.
drank a little.
semi drunk.
took the mrt home with alan.
he offered to send me home but i rejected.
it's quite late too.
didn't want to tire him out.
walked home slowly and got a scolding from shawn.
he scolded me for drinking till drunk and coming home late.
sorry luh bro.

let shadow sleep in tonight.
it's almost 12am.
shadow is sleeping.
i am pondering over stuffs.
tired.

a special thanks to the following peeps.
always there for me!
(:

manda.
mandy.
ling.
andrew.
jon.
nel.
alan.

thanks guys.
for hearing my sorrows.
(:
love you all!
muacks.

my evil side

2am.
another sleepless night i guess.
i am sick.
terribly sick.
but where are you?
i need you here with me.
miss you so much.
so much.

my evil side

i am damn pissed off.
it's not my fault that i got sick is it?
wanted to take leave but didn't.
went for work as usual.
kept sneezing and coughing.
gastric pain somemore.
alan asked me to rest.
joyce went to buy something for me to eat.

jesslyn and shao jie came to work late again.
and this time when she saw me,
she simply just stared at me.
when i asked her what's wrong,
she snubbed me.
wth.
i just can't stand her anymore and so confronted her.
she asnwered back,

i am not like SOMEONE,
can use her beauty to mesmerize the guys to do her work for her.
and then take all the pay as if she really did do it by herself.
come here and act all pathetic to gain sympathy.
if you really don't want to work,
then just OPEN your mouth and say.
don't have to act all sick and poor thing.
making me sick only.

i really can't stand her and so stabbed her back.

at least i am punctual unlike someone.
always late and yet can still say so much.
i know that you don't like me the first time you saw me.
but that doesn't mean that we have to quarrel in work.
we can always just ignore each other.

know what she said?

omg.
i can't just ignore a plain BITCH.
thinks that she is so popular.
thinks that everyone likes her.
of course i despise you the first time i saw you.
who can like that plain bitch look?
serves you right that your guy left you.
he can't stand it too.

i effing wanted to slap her but i didn't.
took up the cup of milo that joyce got me and spilt it all onto jesslyn's bag.
got my bag and walked off.
alan and joyce sms-ed me.
but i didn't reply them.
i just needed some time alone.
sat alone at a corner and cried.
i can't control myself any further and called dee.
but his mum answered.
and she said harsh words.

her: hello?
me: *silence*
her: i know that you are stacy.
and you probably already know who i am.
me: yes.
her: i trust that zhihao already told you everything?
me: yes.
her: well then, i just want to cut to the point.
you should know that i don't really like the idea of you being with zhihao.
and it has been affecting his studies plus because of you,
he comes home later than usual and sometimes neglect his studies.
as a mother, i don't wish to see my son waste his life away just like this.
do you understand?
me: yes i do.
her: i know that you like him but sometimes you must make some sacrifices.
i am sure that you will learn to find another guy soon.
so i am telling you now to please stop calling zhihao or finding him in school anymore.
you are a nice girl but just not the right girl for zhihao.
me: ok. bye.

can anyone please tell me why?
why is this happening?
my heart is already frozen solid.
no amount of heat can now help.
she made her stand clear and firm.
and me?
i can't even stand up and work now.
went to find nel bro and cried again.
even nel bro told me that everything will be alright.
but why do i feel so empty inside?
like something bad is happening.
or going to happen.

pleaded with nel to buy some liquor.
he bought some tiger and i drank 3 cans.
my mind was hazy after that and nel accompanied me home.
shawn helped me to my room.
thank god that mum and dad weren't at home.
slept till now.
it's 11pm.
my head still hurts.
the first time that i drown my sorrows.
i have been drunk before but this time,
it feels different.
it feels so bitter and sad.
so emo.
just so empty and lonely.

my evil side

it's been 2 whole days since i last talked to dee.
or sms-ed and im-ed him.
tried real hard to control myself from reading dee's blog,
but i failed.
when i read those words,
my emo-ness feeling came back.

i have to say those words to her. it's not because i want to see her upset, it's because i have to do it. i know that one day she will come to hate me for this but i really just want her to concentrate in her studies as well as concentrate in my studies too. but is 4 months really enough for me to prove to my mom? she is starting to control everything in my life. my friends, studies, clothes, internet usage and now, my yee. that's basically my whole life. i have had enough of it. but what can i do? confront her? no way. she's my mom. and no matter what, she will eventually get the last laugh and say. what about dad? he goes with mom in family matters. and because of this, my life is already coordinated. truth be told, i never expected yee to fall for a guy like me. yee is such a 'cool' girl. she's part of the 'fashion' girl and yet i am part of the 'fall out' guys. i can sense that yee did alot of changes for me. she changed her attitude, her words, her everything just for me. and yet, i can't even give her a stable and constant love. when mom said those words, i already knew what the last sentence would be. 'zhihao, you are still too young for a relationship. it's not that i don't allow it but can't your girl be more.................perhaps it's better if you break up with her and that is not an option.' why does this keep happening? doesn't she realize that by doing all this, she is pushing me further away from her? i know that she isn't happy because yee once brought me to a party and because of yee, i have been going home late at night. but doesn't she know that her son is happy? for once in his life, he gets to love someone whole-heartedly and that someone loves him too. if she claims that all that she did was for me, her son, then why can't she stop and think that actually now, her son is already very contented and happy with his life. it's not like i am her only son. why doesn't she pull the reigns tight on my bro too? is it because he is still young? well then too bad, because when he grow older, he is going to be wary of you just because he witnessed how you are controlling my life. i am turning 17 soon and yet she still treats me like i am only 7. ever since that day that i brought yee home, she has been showing me attitude and checking on me in my room every 20 minutes or so. forever asking me, 'zhihao, never call your girlfriend? stop spending so much time on the IT ok? spend more on studying and learning your piano.' my god. are all the mothers in the world the same? if so, then why is mine so much different? when i spoke those words to yee, she cried. my heart hurts terribly much. for the first time in my life, i felt what a broken heart felt like. when i hugged yee, i just wish that time will stop at that very moment. the ring, my pledge of love for her. no matter what, i will definitely go back to yee. my very first love, kiss, sweetness, passion and heartache. all happened when yee was with me. dee&yee. i will forever cherish and love. yee, trust me. i will come back to you. wait for me. iloveyou.

am i causing so much stress between dee and his mum?
dee,
i am really sorry.
but i will wait for you.
yes i will.
even if it takes a long time.
<3
i will prove to your mum that she won't regret leaving her son to me.
(:

my evil side

cabbed to work after school.
no mood to take the mrt and to look at people.
the guys were on shift.
pei sze took leave and so i am the only girl.
wtfcuk.
it's alright.
because the guys were great guys!
kept me company.

new work buddy today.
kai sheng.
kaleb showed him around and shafiq was trying to cheer me up.
LOL
he did try real hard but i just can't find a smile.
thanks anyway.
(:
kept checking my phone for messages.
i guess i just can't let go.

and when finally a message arrived,
it was from alan.
wtfcuk.
he sent a cheer up message.
so i looked at him and he smiled.
kaleb asked me to just rest if i don't wish to serve.
but,
i must remember dee's words.
i am really glad to have such wonderful working buddies!
[:

jesslyn came for work late and when she saw me doing nothing,
except staring blankly at my phone,
she made a comment.

eh.
what is that seh?
she get to sit there and stare while we have to do all the work?
is that fair?

and alan said,
so?
i volunteer to do ALL her work for her.
how?
it's not against my own will leh.
wow.
thanks alan.

so yeah.
jesslyn is one of those
aren't really nice people.
but what she said was right.
so i got up and went to work.
got to get myself together.
hung out with the guys after work.
they told me all about a guy's heart.
LOL
really thanks loads.
<3 you guys!

my evil side

school-ed as usual yesterday.
didn't see dee in school for the whole day.
after lessons,
rushed to work again.
joyce and kaleb were there.
one look and they knew that i am not my usual self.
poured out my heart to joyce and cried.
joyce comforted me while kaleb attended to the customers.
thanks guys!
the best of all.
(:

didn't eat anything for dinner.
this time,
kaleb offered to help me buy.
thanks.
working attitude was kind of bad today.
stacy tan!
pull yourself together!
just like how dee will always say.
never let your feelings get in the way.
work and personal life should be seperated.
[:
thanks dee.
i will be counting down to the 4months!
(:

mrt-ed to city hall to find manda.
camwhored with her.
manda always never fails to cheer me up.
thanks loads gf!
<3
blah-ed about with manda till midnight.
cabbed home.
and shadow.
he always cheers me up too.
love shadow baby loads.
<3
fed him his snack and then went off to bed.
tried to sleep,
but somehow i just can't.

sat and thought about stuffs.
just somehow fell asleep on the sofabed.

my evil side

i am so depressed.
i can no longer feel my heart beat.
why do you have to tell me that now?
wouldn't it be better if you have told me earlier?
but i am glad that you said that last sentence.
i will wait for you.
no matter what,
our love will never fade.
<3

dee called me on monday night.
went out to meet him.
dee handed me a lil ring.
i was so damn happy luhs.
but bad news followed through.
he spoke those words that should have never been spoken.

yee,
i need to leave you for 4months.
my parents wants me to concentrate on my studies for the time being.
you know that my heart hurts too,
having to tell you this.
please don't cry.
this ring,
take good care of it.
when 4months is up,
i will definitely come back and help you to put it on.
promise me,
wait for me.
i will definitely come back to you.
dee&yee.
21.05.07.
engraved on the ring.
dee will forever love his yee.
yee have to give dee her full support!
iloveyou.

tears uncontrollably rolled down my cheeks.
i just want to hug dee one more time.
eventhough i very much don't wish to let him go,
i have to.
dee,
let's work hard together to get through this 4months.
dee&yee.
forever the sweetest memory ever.
(:
<3

my evil side

ok.
so i was still confused when i woke up.
there's no school today.
and i was actually looking forward to going to school with shawn.
LOL
shawn was laughing non-stop luhs.
argh.
meanie.

rain called me to rush down to work.
so i got ready and rushed all the way down.
only to find out that my shift starts at 12pm,
and i reached at 11am.
rain got it wrongly.
ahhas.
but she apologized.
(:
rain is like so cute luhs.
but she's still single?
unbelievable.

SUPER NICE GIRL 1: Rain.
*she's cute, nice and a good listener*
SUPER NICE GIRL 2: Kellie.
*she taught me how to treat each customer equally*
SUPER NICE GIRL 3: Joyce.
*shared our problems together*
SUPER NICE GIRL 4: Pei Sze.
*was super nice to me ever since we met*
SUPER NICE GUY 1: Kaleb.
*gave me smile eventhough i made a mistake*
SUPER NICE GUY 2: Shafiq.
*always help me to buy lunch*
SUPER NICE GUY 3: Alan.
*forever reminding me not to overstress myself*

and it's thanks to all of them.
(:
good friends that i made in my work.
there are some that aren't really nice people.
but they aren't mean either.
just that they haven't show me their true colours.

worked till 8pm.
decided to prolong the hours.
accompanied pei sze for the second shift.
rain went back home at around 3pm.
became bored and so walked to the other shop to find the guys.
they were playing with cards!
wtfcuk.
and we girls were so bored.

alan got shifted to the girl's section.
ahhas.
so he got stuck with us.
and we were blah-ing about relationships,
singer groups,
and loads of other stuffs.
know what?
alan is cute luhs.
aww.
LOL
and yes he is.
too bad i already have dee,
otherwise,
i will definitely make him mine.
(:

dee,
jealous?
<3

again shafiq helped me to buy my lunch.
he's forever so kind.
(:
and will personally deliver it to me.
thanks buddy!
plus i found out that
ALAN'S BIRTHDAY IS ON THE SAME DAY AS MINE!
like omfcukingod.
too bad that he's born in 1989.
ahhas.
otherwise,
we can be twins!

so dee came and find me around 7pm.
chatted with alan and the rest till 8pm and went off with dee.
shopped around and can see that dee was tired.
he had badminton practice today.
told him to alight at bishan but he insisted on sending me back to amk.
simply love dee loads.
muacks!
<3

my evil side

missed nic's party due to work and shawn.
sorry nic honey.
you will receive your present soon.
<3

feeling kind of guilty to miss nic's party.
omg.
i miss nic so effing much!
bummers.

my evil side

worked from 12pm till 6pm today.
shawn's flight was postponed for a day.
rushed off to the airport right after work.
miss shawn so much!
hugged him the moment i saw him.
LOL
i <3 shawn.

he bought lotsa stuffs back.
going to school with him tomorrow.
like yayness.
introducing dee to him.
(:

met an unreasonable customer today.
she asked me what colour does the sweater vest comes in.
so i answered her very politely,

me: hi miss. may i help you?
her: what colour does this sweater vest have?
me: miss, it comes in pink, green, blue, black, white and yellow
her: ok then. may i see the yellow one?
me: sure. please wait a moment.
*went to get the sweater vest*
me: here you are miss. the yellow vest.
her: yellow? i thought i asked for the white sweater vest.
me: oh. you did? ok then. please wait a moment.
*went back to get the white sweater vest*
me: sorry miss. here is the white vest you asked for.
her: what is wrong with you? i asked for the blue vest. why do you keep giving me the wrong colour?
me: *trying to continue to be polite* but miss, you specifically asked for the white vest.
her: so are you accusing me of lying?
me: of course not. please wait while i get the blue vest.
*went to take ALL the colours out*
me: here miss. pink, green, blue, black, white and yellow vest are all here. *smiles*
her: *looking surprised* ok. but i didn't even asked for the sweater vest. *walks out of the shop*
me: BYE! AND PLEASE COME AGAIN not!

wtfcuk.
i have been trying to change my attitude towards strangers recently.
had it been in the past,
i would have shouted at her.
but i am glad that i didn't.
(:
good for me.
ahhas.
work hard stacy tan!

my evil side

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIC!
<3

sorry that i am unable to attend your party.
will give you your present soon.
(:

my evil side